Confessions Of A Late Bloomer: random thoughts

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Thoughts Tuesday #1: WHEN TO LET GO?

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Random Thoughts: I’m Happy!

*Another non-beauty related post, but I hope you don’t mind. I just really want to write about something that is very close to my heart.*

How does it feel when you’re able to do what you really want to do in life?

I didn't know how that feels until I met my husband. We met in 2005 back in our college days. Gosh! It’s been 8 long years… I can still remember the qualities I was looking for in a guy at that time and according to our common friend who’s the reason why we met; he didn't possess any of those traits, LOL.

Back then, I wanted a guy who can also dance because I was into a lot of dancing back in those years. I also wanted a guy who can sing and play instruments because I came from a musically inclined family and so I wanted someone whom I can jam with. I also wanted someone with a good sense of humor and secretly wished for someone who can write, so that one day he could write me a poem or who knows, probably a song.

Well, I met a lot of guys who passed 80-90% of my requirements. I clicked with some of them at first but something just didn't seem right as we went along. There’s a connection that was missing. Sure I had some serious relationships before my husband came along, but in any of those relationships I had in the past, I didn't find that special thing that I found with my husband – myself. It may sound all weird, but yes, I found myself in him.

Here’s what’s funny: He’s not a dancer but we always dance to a good tune and we always have a good laugh at it. He doesn’t play musical instruments but look at this:

My Man is a Musician!

This picture alone can already make my day and mind you, he sings!!! He sings really well! His sense of humor is out of this world – or at least for me. He always cracks me up! And here’s the best part, he wrote me a poem before we even met face to face. HE IS A WRITER!!! #@%$&!!!

So why am I telling you all of these now? Hmmm... Well, probably because I’m at home right now, drinking my hot chocolate and simply doing the things that I've always wanted to do but couldn't find the time to before like writing a story, sketching something, making videos, singing a song, practicing a piece on the keyboards – and he just happened to be the reason I’m able to do all these stuff now! Why? ‘Coz he allows me to be myself and he shows me how genuinely happy he is to see that I’m finally doing what makes me happy. He’s unbelievable!

When I ask him if he’s happy, he asked me back the question. So I answered him with a big YES and he smiled back at me and said, he’s happy because I am. Man! What good have I done to the world to deserve him?

One thing is absolute right now and that is, I can never thank God enough for blessing me with such a loving and gorgeous husband! Thank you very much, Lord! <333

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Random Thoughts At 29

My brother, rocking his red electric guitar (I forgot the brand)

I can’t avoid thinking how life could have been for my brother had he lived past the age of 27…

Two days ago, 11^th July, I celebrated my 29^th birthday with no other than my husband. It’s my 8^th year celebrating my birthday with him. It wasn't like any other birthdays. No fancy food. No date outside. We just stayed at home and watched some movies, but it was fun. I really had a great time! The best part was when we played the keyboards and guitar, and just simply enjoyed each other’s company like we always do.

My handsome husband

Still, it was just like a normal day but happier because of the thought that one more year has been successfully added to my life. I have to thank the Lord for that, which is also why I wonder how it could have been had my brother survived his kidney disease years ago. Maybe he already owns a music studio by now like he’s always wanted, and probably has kids and is basically happy with his life.

I can still remember how he played the piano. He didn't just play it with his bare hands. He played it with his heart. And don’t let me even start with his guitar-playing skills! Ah! He’s truly gifted. The level of dedication he had for his craft was irrefutably noteworthy. His passion for music is simply unmatched. Sigh. I miss him so much. I know that he’s now happy with the Lord but sometimes I can’t help thinking what life could have been for all of us, had we not lost him, our eldest sibling.

From Left to Right: My younger sister, My brother, ME

You know what? He is the reason I was able to go to college. He gave up a lot of things just to help with our family’s financial needs and to help me with my studies. And you know what kills me each time I think of him? The fact that his life was just supposed to start when I graduated from college but it was also the same time he was diagnosed with a kidney disease. He was about to get married the following year, but he died instead.

From Left to Right: My brother, ME, my younger sister.

Our family pic 20 something years ago! (I'm that old, hahaha)

It makes me miserable remembering how my brother’s life ended so soon, but the thought that he’s now happy and healthy with God comforts me. It’s sad that we couldn't spend time together anymore. It’s sad that he had to make those sacrifices for us, his family, only to die at such an early age…

Sigh.

Forgive me if this blog post is a little too sad for your appetite today. I’m just really missing my brother so much right now that I had to put it into writing…

Anyway, as of this typing, I’m looking at the view outside of my window. I’m looking at the gloomy sky. It seems like it’s going to rain. If only I don’t have a ton of things to do today, I would have still been lying in my bed, enjoying the comfort of my warm blanket, but I can’t be like that anymore. Things have got to change now. Now that I’m 29, I have to start acting like one.

Until my next post… Have a great day guys.

This is ME nearly 10 years ago. Hahaha.

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Thoughts Tuesday #2: NEVER STOP PRAYING

Thoughts Tuesday #1: WHEN TO LET GO?

Random Thoughts: I’m Happy!

Random Thoughts At 29

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Thoughts Tuesday #2: NEVER STOP PRAYING

Thoughts Tuesday #1: WHEN TO LET GO?

Random Thoughts: I’m Happy!

Random Thoughts At 29

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