Saturday, July 13, 2013

Random Thoughts At 29


My brother, rocking his red electric guitar (I forgot the brand)
I can’t avoid thinking how life could have been for my brother had he lived past the age of 27…

Two days ago, 11th July, I celebrated my 29th birthday with no other than my husband. It’s my 8th year celebrating my birthday with him. It wasn't like any other birthdays. No fancy food. No date outside. We just stayed at home and watched some movies, but it was fun. I really had a great time! The best part was when we played the keyboards and guitar, and just simply enjoyed each other’s company like we always do. 

My handsome husband
Still, it was just like a normal day but happier because of the thought that one more year has been successfully added to my life. I have to thank the Lord for that, which is also why I wonder how it could have been had my brother survived his kidney disease years ago. Maybe he already owns a music studio by now like he’s always wanted, and probably has kids and is basically happy with his life.

I can still remember how he played the piano. He didn't just play it with his bare hands. He played it with his heart. And don’t let me even start with his guitar-playing skills! Ah! He’s truly gifted. The level of dedication he had for his craft was irrefutably noteworthy. His passion for music is simply unmatched. Sigh. I miss him so much. I know that he’s now happy with the Lord but sometimes I can’t help thinking what life could have been for all of us, had we not lost him, our eldest sibling.

From Left to Right: My younger sister, My brother, ME
You know what? He is the reason I was able to go to college. He gave up a lot of things just to help with our family’s financial needs and to help me with my studies. And you know what kills me each time I think of him? The fact that his life was just supposed to start when I graduated from college but it was also the same time he was diagnosed with a kidney disease. He was about to get married the following year, but he died instead.

From Left to Right: My brother, ME, my younger sister.
Our family pic 20 something years ago! (I'm that old, hahaha)
It makes me miserable remembering how my brother’s life ended so soon, but the thought that he’s now happy and healthy with God comforts me. It’s sad that we couldn't spend time together anymore. It’s sad that he had to make those sacrifices for us, his family, only to die at such an early age…

Sigh.

Forgive me if this blog post is a little too sad for your appetite today. I’m just really missing my brother so much right now that I had to put it into writing…

Anyway, as of this typing, I’m looking at the view outside of my window. I’m looking at the gloomy sky. It seems like it’s going to rain. If only I don’t have a ton of things to do today, I would have still been lying in my bed, enjoying the comfort of my warm blanket, but I can’t be like that anymore. Things have got to change now. Now that I’m 29, I have to start acting like one.

Until my next post… Have a great day guys. 

This is ME nearly 10 years ago. Hahaha. 

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